Evolution sent the tortoise beetle from the future. And the future is shiny as hell.
"Oh, what a cute little mouse!"
"It’s not a mouse! It’s a marsupial called an antechinus."
"Sorry, evolution, my mistake. Still cute, though."
"Isn’t he? And he’s excited, because he’s almost eleven months old, and that means he finally gets to start mating."
"Aw, that’s nice."
"He’s going to run around getting it on with as many females as he can for the next two or three weeks."
"And he’ll have sex with each of them for up to 14 hours at a stretch."
"And he’ll get so exhausted from all the frantic mating that his fur starts falling off, and he contracts gangrene."
"What? Jesus. Then does he take a break, at least?"
"Nah, not really. He basically keeps doing it until he gets so sick and stressed out that he dies. ‘Suicidal reproduction,’ I’m calling it.”
"Are you serious? He’s going to mate himself to death?”
"Yeah, but he doesn’t know it yet. Happy coming-of-age, antechinus!"
"You’re sick, you know that?"
An accurate depiction of me receiving affection.
Base By: Jahrenesis